Extraordinary Possibilities
by theowlinsomniac
Summary: An alternate universe where Riza Hawkeye is recruited as an assassin after the Ishvalan War.
1. Chapter 1

Her fingers slipped through the door, only lightly brushing the wood before pressing it into its frame. She danced along the doorknob, locking it silently and delving into her thoughts.

"Come back for more, kitty?" her head snapped forward but her gaze never touched his face. His question went unanswered and she walked forward, unzipping her leather jacket and letting it slide off her shoulder onto the floor behind her.

She passed him, waving away the heavy smoke that radiated from the cigarette between his lips.

A firm hand was soon on her wrist and she stopped.

"New targets listed on the desk." he said through a mouthful of nicotine. She didn't move. He brought his hand up to his mouth and took the cigarette between his fingers. "Haven't seen ya in a while, babe."

She turned, letting his hand slide off hers and lace itself on her back. She sat herself quietly on the blonde's lap reaching forward with her hand to his wrist, bringing the cigarette to her own lips and tugging it from his fingers. The confusion in his eyes amused her, and she puffed on it for a moment, then stood, shaking his hand off of her.

She dropped it to the ground, letting it sizzle on the dark wood and then crushed it with the toe of her boot.

"These thing'll kill you." she huffed. She continued forward, reaching up to take her hair from its settled place on her head. She could almost feel the anger from her partner but ignored it and continued to decompress. She stepped out of her boots and black leather pants and into a pair of tight jeans and sneakers.

The woman leaned over the table, feeling her shoulders pop. The position she'd been in with the sniper really took a tole on her body.

She felt a presence beside her and ignored him.

"Got any good ones, Riza?" she smirked at the sound of her name. She hadn't heard it from him in a long time.

She scanned the paper, feeling his hand on her waist. She, again, ignored it and read through the page. She skipped several paragraphs and found a name, tensing at the familiarity.

"Something interesting?" two hands pulled her upwards by her waist, turning her towards him and pulling her close.

She narrowed her eyes at his, leaving her arms at her sides and frowning at the movement of his hands to her back.

"I thought I told you, Havoc," she said quietly, "this," she glanced down at the severe lack of space between the two, "isn't a thing." Riza pulled her hands up and pushed him away, turning back to the paper and snatching it from the desk.

"Alchemist Roy Mustang, age twenty-five, living in Resembool in Amestris. Supposedly uncovered the files at Library Seven," she paused and swallowed, her eyes going back to the man before her. The off-white tank top suit him well, and the ruffled blonde mess of hair on his head always interested her, but not anymore.

"And?" his eyes questioned her simple act. He noticed things. That was why he was so good at his job.

"And nothing. I'm off to go take care of him now." she responded, tearing the paper in her palms. She turned, trotting into the next room, her room, and tossing the torn papers into a bin. She glanced out the open door to see his back turned, and she slipped her tight long-sleeve off and slid a look sweater over her head.

Her anxiety showed through the sweat on her palms. She stood on her toes to see that he was staring.

Her glare was enough to make him go to his own quarters.

She tussled her hair, glancing into a cracked mirror and applying a few strokes of dark eyeliner and then slid her hands over the wrinkles in her clothes.

Riza walked from her spot to her closet, opening the door carefully and finding a wall of handguns and snipers. She grabbed two, inspecting them with narrowed eyes. She found ammunition in a drawer and loaded the guns carefully and slipping a holster over her shoulders, placing one barrel in each pouch.

She ran her fingers through her hair once more, and snatched a pair of black glasses before stepping from the room.

He was waiting for her, holding a white jacket with a single hand, a new cigarette lit in his teeth.

She held out her arms, letting him pull it over her. She could feel the resentment by the way he dropped the jacket on her back.

"Thanks, Jean." she breathed, brushing the jacket off and walking towards the exit. She opened the door, not bothering to glance back, and stepped back out, feeling just how tired she was as she stumbled down the stairs.

She found herself in the street before she knew it. She quietly observed the crowds of shoppers in the mart, and almost bought fruit for herself until she remembered she was on a job.

This life had taken a toll on her. Killing for money. After the war she had no desire to continue her military career. And the offer that Jean had given her was just downright irresistible. She'd already had him, but the money was a good perk. She'd blinded herself to the cruelty of death and she now welcomed the feeling of accomplishment of the falling of a human.

It was something she'd never thought she'd find herself believing.

And truthfully she hated herself everyday. She hated the title. Assassin. She didn't assassinate. She murdered.

The royal name pierced her heart. But it kept her alive.

It wasn't so much about the money. But it kept her focused. And she didn't have to worry about sleepless nights unless she chose to.

Her legs carried her to the train station. She had numbed herself to noise and the shrill cry of the train woke her from her daze.

She sat on the bench to the side of the tracks. She found comfort in the chaos of the crowd. The swell of people from the opening doors of the train brought a smile to her lips. Not much did that.

And suddenly she realized she could have missed her chance. He could be gone. What was she doing?

She stood, quickly crossing her arms and shoving her way into the crowd. The people began to disperse, and the train called again for its last travelers.

Riza began to panic.

Her eyes shifted as she tried to keep calm. But her shoulder smashed into something sturdy and she reeled back. Her eyes met another pair and she opened her mouth to apologize.

"I'm sorry-" his voice came first.

"I- No it's alright, it was my fault." she replied, wavering on her feet. And then her mind snapped back into killer mode. It was him.

Grey eyes and black hair. It was him.

"Riza?" There was that damn name again. She forced a grin and reached to shake his hand.

"Good to see you again- err?"

"Just Roy... got out as soon as I could." her heart began to tangle into itself. It scarred her insides. He'd given up so easily?

"You didn't follow your dreams?" she asked over the voices around them. She felt her nerves tingling. She was ready to be rid of him.

The blush on his face almost made her change her mind though. He smirked and adjusted the satchel on his shoulder. He looked so handsome out of uniform she almost wanted to flirt.

"I'm just trying to master alchemy now," her back began to itch, "and erm-"

"You're welcome." she said, fighting back the urge to shoot him right there. He'd stolen her father's work and her dignity and used it to murder and now he wanted more? What made her even more angry was that the tattoo was still completely in tact on her flesh and she wished every day she could tear it from her body.

The taller man's eyes shifted downwards.

"How's your father?" he asked.

"Dead." she shifted her weight. She wanted him alone so that she could get this over with. "Don't worry about it though, I'm just glad you're alright." She was honest. She hadn't seen him since the decline of the war.

"I'm glad to see you too." his eyes were too bright. His eyes were just like when they were teenagers. When they'd play and flirt with each other madly. When they'd talk endlessly until her father tore Roy away from her to study.

Inseparable friends until a better opportunity came along.

"Alright, well I know you're probably a busy woman, and-" his voice was drowned out by the sound of a leaving train.

He paused with an embarrassed smile. She smiled back. She used to find it cute but now it was sickening.

"You'll have to tell me why you came to Central." she called out. He smiled and nodded, touching his bag again nervously.

"You can call me - if you want!" he said loudly, the train roaring beside them. The awkward tenseness between the two brought a red color to her cheeks. He reached into his pocket, drawing out a small card with torn edges. She took it with a grin and tightened her fingers around it.

"I hope to see you," he said, leaning forward to brush his lips on her cheek. He then gave a nod, and she, ironically, saluted, and he went on his way.

She felt a warmness draw over her as she watched him walk away. She shook it from herself and strode through the crowd once more.

No she was not having feelings for the first boy she kissed.

No she was not thinking about refusing to kill him.

No.

She found herself climbing the stairs again, and then stepping into the apartment. And then Havoc's hands were pulling off her jacket. And staring at her guns.

"You didn't kill him." his voice was flat with irritation.

"Childhood friend-"

"Lover?" Her eyes narrowed and she stepped closer to him.

"No."

He smirked. She hated that smirk.

"But you wanted him." Of course he could tell. Havoc was a lustful man and he noticed things. He noticed every kind of thing, especially sinful things.

She just shook her head, but she knew very well that he was right. Soon his lips were against hers and she wasn't fighting.

"Are you gonna kill 'em?" he breathed against her neck. She closed her eyes and held her breath.

That was the question.

"Of course I will." She pushed him away and stepped into her room, flicking off the lights and diving into the small bed.

She heard him standing in the doorway, his heavy and aching breath put the pain back in her chest. How could she kill her old friend? How could she kill him?

"You have to do it sometime," he said, his arm resting against the doorframe.

"I'll do it when I want to, alright?" she replied, her face burrowed into the pillow.

She breathed quietly until he left, and she could smell the cigarette smoke later in the night.

Alchemist Roy Mustang. Of course he was her next target.

She rolled over on her bed several times. Once during the dead of the night she felt Havoc slide into bed with her and just let beside her.

Sometimes it hurt her to see him lonely like this. He was a people person. A lady's man. Not some hermit to be trapped up with her.

Maybe if his skills got better the boss would let him out more.

Maybe if the boss knew about her and Roy she could forget about killing him and maybe even love him again.

When she finally stepped out of bed in the morning she threw out the cigarettes and left her coat and her weapons on the table.

The only thing she took was the card she'd be given and the hope that Havoc would forgive her for throwing away his precious addiction.

* * *

**A/N: I do not plan on continuing this- I may add chapters onto this document because I'm utterly in love with this AU, but I won't make this a continuous story. I apologize for mistakes/inaccuracies. I haven't edited this one. **

**Enjoy and reviews are appreciated. **


	2. Chapter 2

"So how'd you end up here?" her gaze was trained on the sidewalk beside them. The air was glazed in a gentle warmth that she hadn't felt in a while. It had been months since she'd been out during the day.

Her head shifted towards her company; her arms crossed underneath her shifted against the table. Her eyes were on his lips now.

"I got a good deal with an apartment downtown," she said quietly, letting her gaze fall back on the table. She was an expert at this. Lying was like a game of cards and she always had the right ones to play. The trick was drawing out her partner's most valued hand for her own use later. She took her time to talk again, glancing down at her billowing cream skirt and silky collared shirt. She'd even let her hair down for him.

Riza would have to admit she was a bit of a tease when it came to her victims, but this was different. She knew him. She wanted him to notice.

"my old friends live close by... I've got a good job. I've settled in nicely." she gave a soft smile and looked up to the dark haired alchemist. She rested her chin on her fists and raised her brows. "And you?"

His face was red instantly, and he seemed to know it. He smiled, trying to shake the blush off but his efforts were quickly turning into a quirky habit around her.

"I'm here for a library visit," he held his hands up with an even more embarrassed smile, "it isn't as dorky as it sounds,"

"I don't think it's dorky at all," she said, biting her lip. She'd have to be more careful about letting the truth slip out. "What are you studying?" she asked to recover.

He looked hesitant but she nodded for him to continue.

"Different forms of alchemy." he replied plainly. She tried to show her disappointment. Her past jobs had required a dense ignorance between herself and the reason she was hired.

"Given up on the fire stuff, eh?" she asked jokingly, giving an airy laugh before sitting back in her seat. She let the smile drain off his face. Riza quickly spoke again before he could redeem himself, "I can see how you'd be interested in the fine arts of alchemy. I was never that good at it... perhaps why my father took on an apprentice." she smirked and looked away from the table.

"So where exactly is downtown?" his voice was softer, more timid. She almost laughed at the sudden submission. The Roy Mustang she used to know wouldn't be like this. But times were different now. She was the leader and he was the foolish one.

"Why? Do you have your mind set on coming back to my place?" she asked slyly. His eyes widened and his face turned red again. Her stomach flutter but she stifled the feeling with a laugh. She wouldn't admit that she liked the idea.

"Me and my room-mate live a block down from the market. It's convenient but neither of us get out much. He's a bit of a hermit- works from home. I get hired out as a caterer. It's nice, 'pays fine." she crossed her arms and sat up, watching slight discomfort at the middle of her sentence.

"He?" Roy's gaze was jagged, and she took pride in the fact that he felt threatened by Havoc. The more she thought about it, the more she saw the two of them becoming friends.

But no. Roy was a target. Her prey. She was just playing with him for some fun. She'd get to her job later. She was just having some fun.

"We aren't together," she replied, motioning towards herself and the empty space beside her, "we're strictly friends... why? Does it bother you?" she tilted her head, pulling out her adored smile. She could feel her face warm, and for the moment she let it.

Roy shook his head slowly, then blinked and swallowed, "Not at all- I just- I uh-" he swallowed again nervously, then he relaxed and looked downwards, "I didn't want to take another man's girl away from him."

The small implication of possession irked her but she let it slide. She'd get him back later. The blonde noticed herself swallowing. One only did so when under the pressure of extreme emotions. She tensed. Assassins didn't feel. They hunted. She was supposed to be hardened against this kind of thing.

Somehow he made her soft.

She wasn't sure if she liked that or not.

Riza took note of it and glanced away, as if she were flustered. "Well you can take me anytime you want, Roy." she said jokingly. The gleam of hope in his eye made her heart sink.

She stood, and tried to ignore the small look of panic upon Roy's face. He stood too and bit his lip, grasping the table anxiously.

Riza brushed her skirt with a gentle hand, and then held it out for him to shake.

"Nice to see you again, Roy," she chirped, "but I've got to be off now." he gave a nod and stepped forward to shake her hand lightly in his own. She tried not to enjoy the warmth, and tugged it away before sliding it behind her back.

"We didn't get to talk much," he began, nodding his head as if to gain courage for his next words, "perhaps we could talk over dinner tomorrow. I'd be interested in your job and your plans for the future and..." his voice trailed off and he smiled. She returned it, feeling her heart thudding again. She was overwhelmed with guilt.

Her first lesson during her training rang in her mind, Jean's sarcastic voice whispering in her ear.

_Kitties shouldn't play with their food!_

She nodded in agreement, something she knew she'd regret later. "Alright, give me a call... my room-mate's a bit territorial though, so if he answers just ask for Riza and he'll make sure I get the phone." He gave a nod and bowed slightly.

"See you soon."

She returned the gesture with another nod, then turned, making sure to sway her hips a bit more than she should. And on her way home she tried to think of a logical reason for doing so. She couldn't find one.

When her foot came into contact with the inside of the apartment, Havoc stood a foot in front of her, arms crossed against his chest, a scowl and an empty space where a cigarette should have been.

"Where were you?" his voice was booming although he hadn't yelled.

"Out." she responded quickly, attempting to scoot past him. His hand caught her before she could leave his presence and she whipped around in retaliation.

"You didn't kill him yet-"

"I will!" she screamed, rocking backwards. She hadn't meant to yell. It was another thing she could see the man taking a mental note of. She hated him for knowing too much.

"You're going to fall in love with him and then he'll break you and you know-"

"Love him? Like I loved you, right?" she spat. Her stomach churned. Why did she say that? He softened, genuine hurt in his eyes. She didn't want to apologize though. She wouldn't. She knew he knew that.

"I'm just looking out for you, okay?" he breathed, narrowing his eyes in pain. Riza turned to face him, reaching up and wrapping her arms around his neck.

She pressed her lips against his for a solid moment of silence, and when they came apart with a sickening and quiet smack, and buried her face in his shoulder.

"That wasn't meant for me." he whispered. She raised her weight onto her toes, then climbed upwards, wrapping her legs around him. He caught her as she jumped, and held on to her knees, letting her cling to him. "I've never seen you like this." he muttered, waddling into her room and hugging her tightly before letting her slip onto the bed.

"I think I want to get hurt..." she murmured, closing her eyes and curling into a ball. It had been so long since she'd felt human. So long since she'd longed for another person. For a friend. For love. So long since she'd felt love. She wanted to feel like herself again. Like the kind-hearted child she used to love being.

She was afraid that that part of her had evaporated forever. Dried up along with her other emotions.

"No you don't," Havoc scoffed, making his way out of the room with his hands jammed in his pockets, "and before I forget," she heard her door slide closed and then a cough, "you owe me a pack." and then there was silence.

How could she break that terrible silence?  
And the only idea that crossed her mind to answer that question was the sound of gunfire and heartbeats fading.

* * *

**A/N: Uh oh dontcha just love that tension? Riza and Havoc have a past that will probably explained in further chapters- but I'm using this fic to get all my Royai and Riza/Jean feels out. This was quite fun to write, actually. **

**A lovely person who reviewed the last chapter asked for more and I was highly motivated to continue this- so I did! This won't be a regular thing, but I've already written about 9 pages of this lovely fanfiction and I'll upload parts when I can. **

**Enjoy, and thank you for your lovely reviews! ^^**


	3. Chapter 3

She carried a loaded gun on her waist and the only clothes covering her body was a leather dress that cut off mid-thigh and hugged her collarbone like a lips on a bottle. And she felt great wearing it and she didn't really mind showing the red ink on her shoulder blades, but hell would freeze over before someone got that dress off of her.

The bitter smell of paper currency permeated from the slim case in her hands and it irritated her nose and lips. Havoc was supposed to be doing this... not her.

Her edgy heels and dark makeup only made her less noticeable in the shadowed alleys with the sketchy almost-criminals and the light swish of her hair against her back was an odd comfort in the darkness.

She stepped along the wall edge, lightly tracing her hand over the bricks with a grimace. She hated that she could already smell the smoke and alcohol. She hated this place.

Riza's steps grew quiet against the low hum of voices, and as she stepped into the Devil's Nest she sensed eyes diverting to her body and somehow she liked the attention.

But her real target wasn't the group of men at the bar but the man who owned it.

She leaned up against the bar, elbows against the wood and the case hitting the counter like a gavel. Before she could shout for a drink there were hands around her waist and a sharp mint smell that only one person carried.

"I wish you'd come work for me, kitten." she held in a sigh and turned, stepping closer to the man she'd come to see. "And I might even give you a raise." his incisors were bared instantly, sporting dagger k9s and killer dimples.

She reached up with a single finger and pulled the dark circled glasses from the bridge of his nose.

"I would've dressed a bit different if I'd come to work for you, Greed." she said mockingly, then brushing past him and began to make her way to the back.

"I'll be back ladies, me 'n this lovely woman have some business to attend to." a chorus of high pitched wails ensued, but the blonde went unfazed, slipping into the dim hallway. She waited, crossing her arms and turning her head to the much larger man.

"You just wish you were mine, don't ya, kitten?" his broad smile made her stomach churn and not even his bitter kiss on her neck could untwist it. He pulled away, unsatisfied, and shrugged, "One day you'll be mine- don't you worry, baby." he smirked and shoved his hands in his pockets, walking down the hall and gently kicking the last door open, leading Riza down an even darker set of stairs and into a clouded store room.

She was quite aware of the masses of crates, knowing the possibilities of the contents, and tightened her grip on the case in her hands. She'd only come for her order. Nothing more. Especially from Greed.

She watched him point towards a single crate, and lean his arm up against the edge.

"Give it a look, Hawky." he said playfully, nodding his head towards the box and chuckled. Riza stepped forward with a sigh, sliding the case between her legs and holding to it tightly with her shins. She kept one eye on Greed who smiled mischievously, but kept his hands to himself. The woman yanked open the side, seeing the exact product she was looking for.

"Seems to be all in order. Is the ammunition in here?" she asked, looking towards Greed, who's gaze wasn't directed at her face anymore. She snapped, and he took his time looking up.

"It's all in there, babe. I'd tell ya t' try one out, but I've got customers upstairs who may not like the sound of gunshots." Greed leaned in closer, nose hovering over hers, a cheeky grin spread across his lips.

There was a sickening click and his eyes shot downwards.

"That ain't one o' mine." he huffed, glaring at the dark weapon poking into his abdomen.

"Like you said, Greedy," she breathed, a hint of sarcasm in her tone, "your customers might not like the sound of gunshots."

He seemed to think it over for a moment, but pulled back anyways, the smile still on his face.

"Wouldn't hurt me anyways," he scoffed, "now give me the money."

Riza huffed in annoyance and reached down, simultaneously sheathing her gun, and handed him the case. He lifted the top and scanned his eyes over the contents, seeming to be happy with what was inside.

"You can come back whenever you want to pick 'em up," he said, closing the case and walking back towards the exit, "I'll wrap 'em up nice and pretty for you." his tone was light and joking but she trusted he'd keep his promise. She nodded with a 'hmf' and walked back up the stairs, shooting a last longing glance to the crate. She couldn't wait to fire them.

Greed didn't make any more advances towards her, and she was expecting that he would. She did, though, continue her old habit of ordering a shot of whatever was closest and making her way from the bar into the even darker streets again.

She took note of the dissipating crowd and the increasing number of women that circulated around the owner of the tavern. If the smell wasn't enough to drive her away, she couldn't stand the sinful dealer and his desperate attempts to add her to his harem.

Riza stopped at a crossways and reached up, tugging her hair into a messy ponytail, then rubbing the exhaustion from her eyes. She looked for the sun but it's mirror had already risen high up into the sky and all she wanted was to go home and sleep. And she did.

Her heels clicked all the way down the streets, passed the library where her flame alchemist was probably studying, passed the market, passed the hotels, and she nearly passed her own stairwell until she woke from the daze.

The quiet lighting in the apartment meant bitter alone-ness and she was okay with that. She was okay with being alone.

The heels slipped off her ankles and clanked onto the hard floor, her hands straight up at her eyes to tear the makeup from her face. The dress was off and she slithered into her bed, sweaty and cold but alive and alone and she was okay with that.

She curled up, knowing there was a snarky note left by her bed, and when she glanced down there must definitely was one.

"Kill him by Friday. Be back tomorrow- I'll pick up from DN."

He hadn't even bothered to write his name.

She scoffed and dug her face and fingers into opposite sides of the pillow.

There was no one beside her. Havoc would be at another person's house tonight.

No smoke in the morning. No warmth of hands under her pillow. No gentle snoring and mutterings in the night. No accidental hugs or curious but threatening glares when the sun rose.

She turned under the covers.

She was most definitely alone.

And it wasn't Havoc that she necessarily missed, but the presence. And she found herself wondering whose presence she really longed for.

And it hurt her that she couldn't tell.

* * *

**A/N: This was kind of short, and the next is even shorter. oAo''**

**Next chapter will explain a few things~ thanks for reading you guys! ^^ Sorry about ending all these parts with her going back to the apartment and sleeping but hopefully as my writing progresses we'll have better endings than what I've already given you. **

**Reviews are very much appreciated and I hope you enjoy this!**


	4. Chapter 4

They didn't meet in a bar like all his other stupid mistakes.

Brown eyes met blue on a rainy day at a studio.

He'd planned on being a painter one day but he never really got the hang of it. And she was diagnosed with a war disease that only the darkest parts of her mind could conjure on a day like this.

And they told her she needed to find a way to kill without pulling the trigger.

He looked at her painting told her that she was too violent and she just scoffed. Just like she did when the doctors told her the same.

He tried to show her how to paint a sky and he painted lavender and she corrected it with grey.

Their hands touched and she found a number where the signature should have gone. And when she turned around the broad, and slightly stained, smile was gone.

She met him outside of painting many times and it turned out he had already known her past before he even saw her face.

But by then she was in too deep and her time was no longer occupied with guns, but tussled blonde hair and bright blue eyes that looked like an unfinished jigsaw puzzle.

He trained her daily. Shooting and countless rules that she pretended to hear.

Sometimes he'd reward her breathtakingly flawless shots with a kiss and then she'd show off with ten more.

She liked being shorter so he could see over her shoulder. It wasn't really about getting lips pressed to her neck. It was about showing her skill.

Both of them loved it.

When it was over with she was his perfect little killer. And the boss agreed.

And she moved in with him even if it meant leaving everything that she knew behind.

It wasn't really about being with him.

Because all she could think was pulling the trigger again. She wanted an escape. One that neither painting nor her handsome lover could provide.

Their bodies fit like a jagged line on a dull white canvas but she tried to ignore it when he held her.

And she hated it when he traced his finger over the red lines on her back but she ignored that too.

And she continued to ignore the things that she hated because she loved him. And he loved her too.

Loved her enough to quit smoking.

Loved her enough to tell her any time he could.

Loved her enough to tell her that maybe this job they were in together wasn't cut out for her.

He said he wanted her safe.

She said that he didn't understand.

And she started occupying her time with death again.

And she lost that feeling that made her want to find the piece of the puzzle.

The blonde sniper who was so much more experienced than her lover and she took more jobs.

Because it turns out she loved the feeling of pulling the trigger more than she loved the one she shared a home with.

She wanted to marry him one day. Once they danced in the snow and she could only imagine having his warmth.

But then she had the cold steel against her shoulder again.

And she wanted that more.

And he started smoking again and they started fighting and she had to swear to herself that she wouldn't pull the trigger on him. Because she loved him.

Didn't she?

Kisses became harder to give and he never saw her and she liked it that way.

Then the talking stopped and the glares started and he didn't touch her back or tell her how beautiful she was and she missed it.

She missed him.

They shared a bed and she missed him.

She cried for the first time after the war eight months after they painted together.

She cried alone and he couldn't hear her over the sound of his own screaming.

She apologized even if she didn't mean it and he accepted it even if he knew she didn't... and they kissed hard and long and two months later she left for longer than she could account for.

And when she returned he asked her why she'd left but even she couldn't answer.

So they called the boss and the jobs rolled in. And she was busy again and the darkness came back.

And she sometimes let him kiss her when they were drunk.

And she would let him kiss the streaks on her back sometimes. But he didn't tell her she was beautiful anymore.

And he most definitely didn't quit smoking again.

And she'd leave for weeks at a time and she would try not to think about the women he would be with in her absence.

He tried to think the same for her. Were there other men? He never asked.

She assumed there were other women but she never asked either.

And both were faithful.

And they didn't know.

And the jagged line broke apart.

Then she found out where her body fit just right and where there was no puzzle piece missing.

She liked that.

And she didn't even want to shoot anymore. And the darkness was like a scared puppy and she was the master.

The blonde haired boy she thought she loved still tore at her. She'd never admit just how much she broke her own heart by leaving him.

He'd never admit that each cigarette reminded him of her and he wanted to quit so bad but they just kept coming back and making him addicted again. No wonder they reminded him of her.

No wonder.

They didn't share a bed anymore and they didn't share love but sometimes she'd let him kiss her. Sometimes she'd let him scream.

Sometimes she'd forget that she didn't love him anymore.

And he let her.

Because unlike the woman, his love was real.

And it would never fade.

And neither would the number on that painting that still hung by her mirror.

* * *

**A/N: A bit of explaining. I love seeing your reviews- they're so lovely. :3 I wrote this on my phone, so I'm sorry about the weird layout, but I kind of like it this way. The next will be like the previous chapters, though. **

**Thanks for reading and reviews are much appreciated! :) **


	5. Chapter 5

The met once after the first outing. Riza didn't even have to try to track him. His whereabouts were simple and similar with each day.

He'd rise from his bed around nine in the morning, a very late start compared to the assassin's five a.m.

She found a nice spot to observe on the neighboring balcony. The apparently missing owner and the long flat ledge along the railing were a perfect balance for the blonde sniper, who liked to swing one leg over the side and rest the other crooked leg on the top.

She'd watch quietly, once or twice considering lighting a cigarette, and she'd close her eyes for several minutes at a time just to calm her nerves which had seemed to be on end lately.

Riza would be dressed in tight black pants and her usual black sweater that fit so perfectly. Both were snug and warm and she liked the way the fabrics matched and helped her to blend in. She could see into his hotel room by glancing across her left shoulder, but he wouldn't be able to see her even if he leaned out of the room.

She was smug after choosing the perfect place, but the disappointment on Jean's face after an inspection of a full chamber in her handgun made her want to leap from the place and silently ebb into the dark shadows beneath her.

Riza stayed in her spot usually until the alchemist had made his way to the outside of the hotel and made his way across the street to the library. She'd follow him in quietly, making sure he didn't notice. Then she'd wander the books, not taking any particular interest in any and making sure to hide her face.

She had a few close calls; she drifted too close several times, getting caught up in what he was doing instead of her own actions.

Riza let him see her a single time, the only time they met besides the lunch they'd had.

She stepped around the book case, looking innocent in a pair of glasses and pretended to catch his eye. He looked up and smiled wildly, moving to stand before she interrupted him.

"Don't stand- I'll sit," she offered and he sat still. Her stomach churned but she sat beside him against the wall of books and smiled towards him, avoiding his eyes carefully. "What are you studying?" she breathed, sliding close and resting her chin on his shoulder. She could hear his flustered swallow and it only made the warmth in her chest deepen.

"Er- mostly history of alchemy. I've got the basics, and uh," his voice lowered in shame, "obviously flame alchemy," his voice lifted again but his eyes remained on the page in front of him, "but I don't know much about the past use of alchemy throughout Amestris and other countries." when he finished his eyes lifted awkwardly from the book and to hers which seemed to be closer than he thought.

"Found anything interesting?" she asked, moving her body forward so she could see the text on the book. It all looked like a bunch of scribbles, similar to that which was on her back, but it was slightly more disorganized and flowing.

Roy nodded and moved his fingers across the page. "It seems that there's a missing piece around the time after Xerxes collapsed. Alchemy came about after the fall of the city, but there's only bits and parts of what happened in Amestris and in Xing. There isn't an explanation for the fall of Xerxes, and perhaps alchemy uh," he stuttered, and by the rise in his heart rate she could tell that the information he had almost let slide was what would get him killed. He cleared his throat and continued, "perhaps alchemy may have had some role in the deaths of that many people." he shook his head, a weak smile on his face, "but I'm sure this is all boring you. I'm probably boring you-"

She lifted her shin and shifted, one arm on each side of him and her face barely an inch away from his. The awkward position left him incapable of moving, and this gave Riza the upper hand.

"I don't think you could ever bore me, Roy." she breathed. Why was she whispering? After all, this _was_ a library.

She pressed her lips to his with enough force to make his head rest on the bookshelf behind him. Riza pulled back for a moment, but his hands were already up and around her, her body being pulled up and kisses like waves over the dusty rocks of her lips.

She found herself arching her back against the wall of books and hands grasping her neck and jaw. He was strong but she matched his intensity, hungrily kissing his mouth and pushing him backwards with her hands on his stomach.

Her fingers nimbly reached the top button of his shirt but retracted as her surroundings became apparent to her. She reached up and stopped him, eyes wide and clothes ruffled. The passionate tension between the two lingered in the air for a moment, hands still touching and hearts beating faster as their eyes met.

She opened her mouth to speak and she quietly looked around them to make sure that none of the other readers had seen their spontaneous act. "My father spoke of the disappearance," she whispered, letting her gaze drop as well as her hands. His followed like a soggy salute, and his hands brushed the seams of his trousers. "he wrote many things down in his notes and it was something I could overhear in his mumblings." she said with a swallow. Her heart continued to race, unlike the man in front of her. She could get herself into a lot of trouble by doing this. By showing him again. By feeding the boar of curiosity in his mind. "Did you miss anything?" she asked quietly, her eyes stronger and staring at his. His narrowed and he blinked.

"There were many things I couldn't decode." he admitted gently, crossing his arms over his wrinkled shirt.

She smirked and reached up with her left hand to fix the collar of his shirt.

"Let's go back to my place and see what you missed. Maybe I can help you with all this history nonsense," she said, leaning down and grabbing the upside-down book he had just been reading. "Don't think this is a scheme to get you back to my apartment for you to see me shirtless, okay?" she said with a laugh. His face turned bright red but he took the book from her anyways.

"Besides," she huffed, taking his hand and leading him from the corner, "my roommate will be there anyways and like I said, he's territorial."

* * *

Her fingers slipped into the pockets between his and she tugged him up the stairs. Her eyes shifted from the door to his face that was almost eager to move inside. She smirked and took the key from her pocket, sliding it into the door and pushing it open. Havoc would be angry with her for bringing him here, but it wasn't like he hadn't brought others here before... right?

The nervous glint in Roy's eyes beamed and Riza felt the drumming of his fingers against her hand like an unsteady heartbeat. It amused her to see him like this, like a boyfriend going to meet the girl's father, but she too was nervous.

The other blonde stepped out of the bathroom, ruffling his hair with a towel and rambling on about cigarettes but his jaw dropped as his eyes found the two standing just inside the apartment.

"Who's that?" his voice turned gruff and the towel dropped with his arms. Riza tightened her grip on Roy's hand and she smiled innocently.

"This is Roy- we'll be in my room for a bit." she explained, already walking towards the door to her right. She ignored the obviously angry glare from Jean, and shut the door behind her when they both reached the inside of the dark room.

"Don't get too loud," she heard from outside the door, and her face returned the comment with a bright red blush.

Riza turned from the door, hoping her guest would ignore the blonde's words.

She didn't bother turning on the light, and Roy didn't seem to care.

Riza stepped onto the bed and sat on her knees, reaching down and slipping her shirt over her head and holding it tightly to her chest. This wasn't the first time he'd seen her like this and she certainly hoped it wouldn't be the last. She moved her head to flick the hair off her back, and looked at the man who lingered at the doorway with an odd look of admiration.

"You can sit on the bed behind me, and there's a pad of paper in the bottom drawer." she lifted her chin to motion to the chest beside him, and her eyes watched him reach up hesitantly, and bring out a pen and paper. She turned her head away and listened to him climb up and behind her, immediately immersed in scribblings and scratches on the paper.

Riza closed her eyes as she felt a shiver run up her back. The feeling of his breath on her spine invigorated her, and at the same time struck fear into her chest.

She must have sat for half an hour listening to his mumbling and at times feeling his finger on her shoulder. She felt his eyes glued to her the whole time, and she thought about saying something to ease away from silence but she couldn't think of a single thing.

She was alone in her thoughts and most of them included Roy and a place far away from where she was. Not one daydream she encountered even remotely held the sound of his dying breath from her gun.

Her eyes widened and her skin tightened when she felt something else on her back. She relaxed when she realized it was his lips trailing up to her neck. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth but she jolted when the face rose to her mind.

Blonde hair and blue eyes stained her eyelids and the kisses on her marks were no longer from a black-haired alchemist but a smoke-mouthed gun man.

"D-did you find anything?" she whispered in the dark, trying desperately to change the image in her mind.

"Nothing," his breath was hot against her neck and she wanted it off of her bad.

Riza turned her head to look him in the eyes and she pulled the shirt back over her head.

"I think you should go," she said as soft as she could. The immediate disappointment in his eyes only scarred her further.

"..Alright." He leaned forward a bit as if he wanted to kiss her goodbye, but he didn't.

He stood, left the notes on the table and waited for her to stand, which she did obediently.

She didn't apologize to the frowning man and she led him to the door, then to the next, and she knew she was under the watchful eye of her partner.

Roy turned in the doorway. Rain had begun to fall and Riza felt a hint of guilt for pushing him away into such conditions. But he leaned forward on his toes, kissing her hard, hands hovering above her waist but scared to touch.

He gave a half nod before leaving and disappearing into the dusk.

Riza slammed the door and hit her back against the wood before replying to Jean's distant look.

"I want out." she growled, her eyes shifting upwards to meet his gaze. He scoffed and stood, a cigarette butt crushed between his fingers.

"Took you long enough," he said, making his way towards her. He reached out with one hand, holding himself above her with one arm, the other tucked in his pocket. His eyes glinted over her face and his bottom lip clenched between his teeth.

"Help me get out." she commanded, looking up to him, honestly hopeless. She absolutely could not kill Roy Mustang no matter what the cost.

The look of spite in Havoc's eyes turned her stomach and left her mouth dry.

"The day you kiss me like you kiss him," he began with a hoarse voice, "is the day I'll help you get out of this." He narrowed his eyes as her brown ones grew, and he turned away, grabbing the pack of cigarettes and making his way into his room, closing the door softly as if to let his words remain in the air.

She sunk down against the door, tears welling in her eyes. She wouldn't do this.

She wouldn't.

Riza rose from the pit she resided, left the apartment, and went off to the library where she slept quietly between the fairytales and the fiction.

She didn't dream of either man, but of herself.

A bullet to the forehead.

The anonymous face of her boss smiling at her crumbled body.

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**A/N: I've been busy since I last updated but here is the next part! Hope you enjoyed it and I'll be seeing you soon. Reviews are appreciated and thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

The librarian found her the next morning. Riza played it off as a late night study session turned into a long nap and the old woman chuckled at the excuse, but gave her a suspicious eye as she turned to go.  
Riza left the place, knowing Roy would be there soon and she headed straight towards the place she loathed knowing it to be the only place that could provide some comfort.

A surprised glint in crimson eyes was apparent as she stepped into the Devil's Nest bar and her backside hit the stool with vigor unlike any time before.

"Whatever's open, I'll have some." she said, placing her elbows on the bar and staring directly up at the sinful man in front of her. His sharp smirk made her lightheaded but she calmly waited for a glass to appear before her.

"Bar's closed, baby." he laughed, running a cloth inside a dusty wine glass and looking her over with hungry eyes.

"Serve me now or never again, Greed." she growled, flaring her nostrils and furrowing her brows.

Greed got the message, thinking quickly if it was worth it to pour her a drink, and he turned to grab a bottle of vodka.

"Your partner already came and took the shipment if that's what this is about," he said, pouring the liquid into a shot-glass and sliding into Riza's fingers which were ready to hold it.

Riza chugged the glass until it was empty and set it down gently back on the hard table.  
"No this isn't about him." _Liar_.

She scoffed at herself. This was most definitely about him.

Greed raised a brow but continued to clean and watch her.

"Then why are ya here, and why are ya drinkin' so early in the morning?" he asked with a bellow of laughter.

"Why ain't ya got any girls comin' outta that room like you normally do?" Riza snapped back at him, pushing the glass forward until it teetered from the bar and crashed onto the floor.

Greed stood with an open jaw, eyes wide and offended. He swallowed and closed his mouth, reaching down to pick up the shards of glass.

"If you weren't so damn stubborn you could be one of those girls," he muttered, dropping each part into a bin under the bar.

Riza was standing now, loaded gun staring him straight in the eye.

"You won't be seeing much o' me anymore, Greedy." she snarled, making sure her weapon clicked as she put it away. With an amused chuckle at the shock on his face, she made her way from the bar, turning back for a moment to reach into her bra and pull out a bill of money. "Here," she said with a mocking tone, "keep the change, babe." Her fingers left the money flittering to the floor and she scurried from the place and into the surprisingly bright street.

* * *

Riza visited Roy's usual spot between the bookshelves since she didn't feel like facing Jean, but instead of finding a man she found an empty place on the shelf and an empty place on the floor.

She walked back out onto the street, avoiding the librarian and glances probably caused by the smell on her clothes.

Her mind quickly evaporated and her steps carried her not towards her home but towards the hotel.

She was soon asking the clerk for a room number and winking when he gave it to her, causing him to blush and smile back. It didn't hurt to be nice to people, did it?

She walked quickly up the stairs and when she reached the proper door, she stopped. What was she doing? She'd already made a mistake today. She'd already hurt her best friend. She'd already hurt herself.

What would her boss think? What would he plan in case she didn't kill him? Would Havoc have to kill Roy?

Would he have to kill _her_?

Riza swallowed and tapped the door gently. She tried desperately to clear her head but it would only silence at the face of her love.

"R-Riza what are you doing here?" his hair was shaggy and ruffled, clothes sagging and eyes brighter than before.

"Tell me your secrets," she said with a sudden intake of breath, stepping inside without an invite, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt and pulling him into a bruising kiss. Her foot instinctively shut the door behind them and he kept moving back as she pushed forward until the reached the middle of the room where she let go and sank to the bed. She sat, looking up at him with watery eyes and twitching fingers.

Roy wiped him mouth with his sleeve with a frown.

"Have you been drinking?" he asked, inhaling quietly as if to cover up that he was smelling her.

"What are you _really_ studying?" she asked bluntly, looking past him to the books and papers that scattered the floor. He turned to look back and then stepped in her field of vision.

"Riza it's complicated-" he started. She stood and jabbed a finger to his chest, teeth gritted and chest heaving.

"You know what's complicated?" she shouted, staring him in the eyes and breathing heavily.

_Loving two different people. Having to choose one or the other. Having to kill for a living. _

Roy's eyes were wide with fear and confusion and her breathing died down and she finally slumped back onto the bed.

"What's gotten into you?" he breathed, fists tensed at his sides.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered, looking back up at him. She wasn't going to cry. She knew what she had to do.

She stood, kissed his bottom lip and clasped a single hand to his for several moments, then let go. She lingered with her hand, twirling her fingers around to enjoy the simple warmth, not letting him see her face.

Riza pulled away and slipped open the door again.

"You've done nothing wrong.." he called out quietly, too late for her to respond.

She heard it though. She heard it.

"Oh, but I will." she answered under her breath, jogging down the steps and into the lobby. She soon disappeared in the crowd outside and no one she that knew spotted her for two days.


	7. Chapter 7

Jean was the next to finally meet eyes with her. Not only did their gaze connect though, but their lips and hands and bodies as well.  
Her legs were wrapped around his waist again she she forced kisses across his forehead and neck, breathing like a crying child and silent like the wings of the creature by which she was named.

He held her up and returned her assertions of affection until she reached for his shirt.

"You don't love me." he said in a broken voice, stopping her. She paused, losing eye contact and making her pupils rest on his collar bone.

"You don't love-"

"I heard you the first time," she muttered. She brought her eyes up to his. "But I'm choosing you."

His eyes stiffened and his grip on her leg and back did as well.

"But you don't love me."

"Of course I do." she whispered, leaning down and resting her head on his shoulder. "I do..." she said.

She was carried into her room and laid on her bed. He laid with her, arms around her stomach and legs tucked under hers, supporting her.

"I'm glad you're back." he said into her hair. She returned it with a sigh.

"I need your help." she said, curling into a ball to escape his touch. She succeeded and a moment later he laid on his back. He didn't respond, so she continued.

"I'm going to kill him and I'm gonna need your help." she said. There was a rustle. He was standing and there was a dry cigarette in his mouth.

"Wash up, kitty," he said with an accent that only a smoking man could ever carry, "hunting begins at dusk."

* * *

**A/N: Yay two updates in one day! Well a lot happened in the past two chapters- there are subtle things and I'm not sure if ya'll caught on to them but everything written was incredibley important to either the characters themselves or the plot. **  
**There isn't much story left to write, lovelies, but I'll probably post another chapter or two (probably three-ish) before the actual conclusion. **  
**_REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY AND THEY ARE MUCH APPRECIATED EVEN IF IT IS A SHORT CRITIQUE! _**  
**Thank you all for reading and favorite-ing/following and I hope you all have a splendid week. :) **


	8. Chapter 8

Havoc thought that a bathtub was useless. He thought it was idiotic for 'full grown people' to use as a way to bathe themselves.

He also believed that Riza was a privileged child. He never quite understood why she'd choose the bath over the shower time after time, but then again he also never quite understood why she mumbled in her sleep, or she declined a scholarship to a school of art, or why she loved it when he kissed the skin under her jaw, and he never understood why she even loved him to begin with.

There were many concepts that the not-so-bright man could never figure out about her, and he would never get the chance to.

Riza's heels skidded against the porcelain, toes wiggling in the air and knees bent slightly to emerge from the foamy water by only the rough tops.

The crevice between her skull and the back of her neck rested comfortably on the opposite side, messy dark blonde hair swirled into a loose bun. The strands dripped with water onto the old tiled floor but the sound soothed her ears and calmed her already closed eyes.

She sat in the luke warm water letting it cleanse her.

They'd always said they'd bathe their children in that tub. Jean joked about it every couple of weekends as he shaved his face, and Riza would silently slip between his arms and brush her teeth.

Back then she was sure that she'd be spending her days beside him. Her mind was too foggy to think about all that now.

Her prune skin squelched against the tub and her eyes opened to watch her feet dance in and out of the water. She smirked, burying herself even deeper into the frothy mix.

She would be killing again today. She hadn't fired in so long. Just thinking about the motions caused her fingers to grow numb, especially in the soggy confines of the pool. Her arms and biceps were restless to hold a gun against them. Her eyes blinked open when she realized she would rather a barrel than a body against her.

Her gaze averted, although she looked only towards herself before. She was overwhelmed in guilt and anger and the weight on her body seemed to drown her even with the infinite amount of air she could breathe.

Riza could have fallen asleep in her spot, forgotten all about Roy Mustang and his adorable smile. She could forget Jean's quirks and her shouts for him to quit smoking. She could forget what she felt if only she fell asleep.

There was a knock at the door and her daydream of rest came to an end.

When she rose from the tub, she pulled on the plug to drain the water, and found a towel to cover herself. She found the dirtied mirror and sat on the sink, glancing over her shoulder with limited vision so that she could bare witness to her own tattoo. Sometimes she could curse her father for placing it on her back, only causing her more trouble with her intimate curiosity. Sometimes she cursed him because it was there in the first place.

In the early days she'd ask Havoc to paint her back, and he did. It tickled and she laughed but it never provided her with the closure she desired. Her mark would never leave and neither would the alchemy it empowered. She never thought of Roy back then, even when thinking about the war, about the flames.

She only saw a blank face of a soldier and heard the snapping and the shrill cries for mercy. Riza only saw the bad even in the eyes of her blonde lover and she never trusted him enough to tell him about her oddly frightening and horrific dreams. She never trusted him enough for anything, it seems, except to have her back on missions which he was rarely assigned to anyways.

The boss had a favorite and it was obviously not Jean Havoc.

Riza clothed quickly, then took her time to comb through her hair. Another knock at the door told her she was taking too long but she ignored it.

She'd never even met the boss and he controlled her. He controlled her victims and her supply of money which came scarce but in great amounts. He was controlling her this very moment as she prepared herself to kill.

To her knowledge Jean and the boss knew each other before the war, and Greed seemed to know him too. It hadn't bothered her much up until Mustang's name came up on the list, but she'd never met the man who ruined her.

When she'd finished brushing out her tangles she once again wrapped her hair tight up on her head. She held it together with pins and bands, a sleek style that she loved when it came to carrying out orders. She stood straight up and thrust her shoulders back. Her skin was still moist with water and perhaps a drop or two of newly arrived sweat, and her fingers and toes still pruned like the faces angery men.

She'd have to dry out before she went outside.

Another knock.

She checked the tub to make sure it was empty, checked herself in the mirror once more, and stepped out of the bathroom and into the main room where her partner sat, smoking another cigarette. The clock on the other wall read 1800 hours and Riza's mind was already instructing her on how to assemble her instrument of death.

* * *

**A/N: A short one- not much to say about it. REVIEWS ARE LOVELY! 3**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Slight trigger warning for the end, I think. If you're sensitive to thoughts of self deprivation or death please skip the italicized section. **  
**Last chapter I forgot to credit my dear friend, Dionne. I referenced her fic slightly for the bathtub scene. (Never Let Me Go- orlandraopal29) **  
**Well we're nearing the end, only a few more chapters left to go. Thank you all for reading and thank you for your lovely reviews!**

* * *

She'd called him to apologize. Her sweaty fingers clutched the phone, lips quivering and heart anchored to her belly. Her other hand clasped the barrel of her rifle. It twirled on its butt, her fingers nimbly catching and twisting it in the air, listening to the quiet breaths on the other end of the line and her own fumbling words.

She asked him to meet her. He was hesitant. Her smooth words and urgent undertones seemed to ease him from his uncomfortable position.

Havoc stood a few feet away, wiping down his own sniper with worn-in leather gloves. He never once glanced towards his lithe assassin partner. Even when she made an effort to look at him his eyes remained on the gun he was working with. He knew her better than she did but she only thought that he was nervous.

When she hung up, she reached up to her head to unpin her hair, and walked into the other room.

"I'll meet him on the square and I'll find a way to do it quietly," she called slipping a jacket over her and tussling her hair with her dried fingers. When she walked back into the main room, he was sitting down, staring at her.

"What?" she blinked, feeling uneasy about the blankness in his eyes. He seemed to smirk and he waved her towards him. She obliged, walking over and setting a knee on either side of him so her bottom rested on his knees and her legs were tucked next to his thighs. He looked up at her, something more than anxiety in his eyes. Something soft but bitter. Something like copper on the tongue, like sickness in your throat. Something like sorrow but not quite as poignant.

"I was never with anyone else." he said softly. She was still, holding her jaw closed at the sudden confession.

"I know." she stammered, her heart beginning to race.

"No you didn't," he was laughing like he'd lost it all, and his fingers were twirling through a piece of her hair with an accustomed ease.

She was silent. He had spoken the truth. She'd never known. But she did now. And it wrapped her with guilt like never before.

His hands pushed her knees back, and she slid from the small couch. Riza walked from her spot to her gun, and reached to pick it up.

"No. Take your pistol. I'm taking the roof just in case."

"I'll get it done, Jean." she said with a newfound anger in her voice. He narrowed his eyes but nodded, leaning over his weapon to begin to wrap it in paper. She watched him, dazed for a moment, then placed her gun back into its place in her closet, retrieving her pistol like she was instructed.

They'd soon been packed and ready, and unlike Riza expected he didn't try to kiss her

on the way out like he used to. It had been a while since their last duel mission, she supposed. Perhaps he'd forgotten.

But there was a sick feeling in her stomach and she followed him out the door, locking it tightly after she'd stepped out.

They parted ways as soon as they'd hit the street and Riza felt it sick of her to enjoy the moments she spent walking alone.

It was dark outside. Grey hairs streaked the skies to enfold the sun and the air was like a chilled glass.

She shoved her hands into her pockets, only to find a scribbled on slip of paper. She tossed it into the wind, not even bothering to realize who'd given it to her only days before.

She could see him on the sidewalk, waiting. She could also see Jean sprawled on the roof in the back of her mind. But before she could even catch the black-haired alchemist's attention, another man stepped in front of her, door like shoulders and a block for a head. His eyes were sharp and Riza's instincts were already in motion.

"Can I help you?" she growled, stretching herself to be tall.

"Yeah, sweetie," he said through yellowed teeth, a foreign accent covering his voice, "your boss said don't screw this up." He raised two fingers in a mock salute, suit sleeve wrinkled like his smile, "We're watchin' ya."

Her shock hadn't set in when he turned to go. Her hand shot out but she clutched air. She'd never see him again.

She swallowed. _Don't screw it up. _

Sweat suddenly poured down her face, her stomach twisting into itself, heart thudding in her ears.

Roy could see her. He was walking towards her, a forced smile crooked on his lips. She smiled back with an awkward intensity and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck as his locked around her waist. She snuggled her face into his shoulder, and raised her lips to his ear. The world became mute to all but her words.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. Mustang's eyes squinted before they gaped open, back dented and stomach clutched by his arms. She was sobbing, her weapon to his gut.

_There was a gasp for air, and then a soft exhale before Roy lost himself into the black void. He was stuck somewhere in between where Riza was and where she wanted to be._

"I'm sorry, Roy."

* * *

**A/N 2: Reviews are appreciated- there's bound to be a plot twist soon. ;D Thanks for reading! See ya in a few days! **


	10. Chapter 10

There was a gasp of air. The blood roared in her ears and all she could hear was her heart shutting down inside her.

Her hand ached for a moment, grasp on weapon tight and the other clutching the man's back. He was limp in her arms, eyes wide and white against the sepia day. She could already feel the hot eyes on her back. Strangers on the walkways whose lips touched their fingertips. Hot breath against palms. Eyes stretched to gawk at the scene.

"Call an ambulance!" red streaks against his shirts. Not-so-fake tears rolling down her face. Somehow she knew there was a look of approval in her direction. But the air was tense and there was a boom.

She wailed to cover the shot through the clouded air. He knew.

She buried her face into his bloodied shirt, hands digging into the fabric and tears falling as she did. Her knees tore on the ground, body in her arms, muscles tightening and loosening.

There was longing in her eyes. Her closed eyes. Hands were on her shoulders.

"Someone please call an ambulance!" it seemed like hours, days even, before the crowd's murmurings could be heard. She looked around wildly, a truck pulling up beside them. Blonde hair and quick eyes snatched her shrieking body from the crumbled alchemist.

"Someone hold her back!" an unfamiliar tone called. Her body ached. Cold fingers. Coughing. Blood. Memories of her father. Memories of Roy.

"No!" she screamed. This was real terror. This was real horror. This time it wouldn't be an escape. This time she was losing him for real.

No following him to battle.

No giving up after she'd won.

No future.

None at all.

She charged forward, but the man in white stopped her with a forceful hand.

"I'm gonna get him to a hospital, alright?"

His eyes. Those eyes. They used to watch her softly. They didn't used to be this hard and cold.

Riza was still. She blinked. Her hair was untidy. Her lip torn and tasting like pennies. Eyes puffy and probably red. Her body was limp on her hands and knees. The Riza Hawkeye she knew wouldn't let herself be this way. She couldn't be this way. What had that stupid alchemist have done to make her like this?

She watched the blonde carry the man with the bloody shirt into the back of the vehicle. Then it came to her.

It was a realization that she'd had only once before. There wasn't time for it now, though.

Her fists were at her chest. "I'm coming with you," she pushed her way pasts the blurred faces into the truck, cradling his head in her hands and lap, one hand on his abdomen, and the other on his forehead. The doors closed behind her, and she felt a chill run down her back. The door up front slammed shut and the car lurched forward.

"You weren't acting." gruff anger was piercing his voice. Jean Havoc sat in the front seat, rifle in the passenger and eyes on the rear-view.

"Jean I had to pretend like he was dying and he-"

"Dammit Riza!" the car swerved slightly, the air in the vehicle hot and glassy. Riza snapped to attention, weak eyes on the driver. "You- you weren't acting..."

There was silence. Several turns and hands tightly grasped into a stained shirt turned into minutes of agonizing quiet.

She tried to speak, but was cut off by his voice instead.

"Get something for your hand." he said in an off whisper, "I'm driving around to an alley and we'll unload there."

Riza raised her left palm. A clean and slanted line ran from left to right, blood oozing quickly from the wound. She looked around, finding gauze and wrapping her hand as fast as she could, tightly knotting it and closing her palm off from the air around it.

She held onto the side of the truck as it came to a quick halt. Her hands were instantly on Roy, shaking him and smacking his face.

His eyes fluttered open, and there was relief in her eyes.

"Why'd you get so freaked out?" Jean had opened the doors, leaning against one for support. He watched Roy regain consciousness slowly.

Riza glared in his direction.

"You knocked him out and slit your own hand... you knew he was alive..." Havoc trailed off as the dark-haired man groaned in pain, clutching his stomach, eyes shut tight.

"What the hell happened?" he said, hunched over, head to his knees.

Riza's glare shifted slowly and she wrapped her arms around Roy, tugging him out of the compartment.

Once his feet hit the ground she began to speak, leading him around the van into the alley.

"Pressure point. I knocked you out for a bit, faked your murder, and now we're here. So just follow directions and you'll end up alive." Now his eyes were wide open. His feet stumbled on the ground, head shifted to look down. It wasn't his blood he was covered in. It was hers.

Riza let go of him to let him stand alone, backing away with hands out in case he fell. He stood, hands shaking and head doing the same. He gave her a wild look and then the same to Havoc.

"Why would you fake my-"

"I was ordered to kill you." Her heart dropped. Honesty wasn't her greatest trait but the little time they had before someone caught on to their ploy was telling her she needed to explain things as fast as she could.

Havoc spoke next. His back was turned to them, a pistol in his hand and a worried look on his face.

"I gotta get out o' here." he said with a frown, glancing back at her. She frowned right back.

"They're gonna know," she said stepping forward, "they're gonna figure it out when the ambulance doesn't make it to the hospital." Jean sighed, narrowing his eyes and turning to face her.

"You really love that guy?" he said, waving his gun over to Roy who stood awkwardly behind the two. Riza swallowed, the tension in the air rising and causing her to shiver. She nodded.

"Damn." Jean looked down, eyes clouded in disappointment. He then looked up, raising his gun to Mustang. Riza panicked for a moment, raising her arm to bring his down but felt Jean against her and realized what was happening. He kissed her hard, one hand over her shoulder to aim at Mustang and the other on her back to hold him to her.

She kissed him back. She meant it too. She meant it like she never had.

It was a long minute before he pulled back, a slight gasp for air and a smirk on his teeth.

"May not meet you again. Wait for me here," Jean lowered his gun and reached into his pocket, pulling out a yellowed paper and shoved it into her hands.

Riza turned around to face Roy, whose face was bright in confusion and soggy from the recent unconscious state. Riza stopped when she heard Havoc's whisper on her ear, and when he'd finished speaking she reached forward to drag Roy behind her into the alley. She dare not glance back when she heard the ambulance backfire, but she knew Roy did.

"I'll explain when we get here," she said, lifting the paper and waving it in the air. Roy stopped though, making her turn.

"You were gonna kill me!" he said, gasping in shock. "You-you-"

"I saved your ass, now follow me, or you might be dead for real this time." she barked, tugging his arm and glancing around to find the nearest car. He seemed to go along with it, and she was relieved. The worst wasn't over yet, she knew that much, but for now she'd be happy. For now she'd be happy with what she had.

Jean Havoc may not ever kiss her tattoo or stare into her eyes again but she was damn sure she was gonna be happy. He'd want her to be anyways.

She hoped that his plan would work, and that she'd get the chance to thank him.

An empty van sat on the side of the street, and she knew it was her chance. Easily picking the door, she threw Roy in the back, commanding him to lay down, and she slammed the door behind them, hitting the accelerator and driving off down the backroads, hoping she could remember the way.

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**A/N: You'll get explanations in the next chapter! Thanks for reading, reviews are appreciated!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This one's pretty long! It was harder to write than the rest of them... u_u' glad it's over with! Enjoy!**

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They had exactly seven minutes until they had to be out of the block. She counted the seconds precisely, asking nothing from Roy but ominous silence. They ran to his apartment. She cleared her mind as if she was going to fire a sniper. She pleaded with him momentarily, and he agreed, saying he'd gotten rusty but it may work.

The dark apartment was lit in flames, a neatly drawn crest on his hand. She drew it expertly, timer still ticking in her head. Turns out he wasn't the only one to have studied her tattoo over the years.

He'd grabbed a small pile of paperwork and they were out of the city with four seconds to spare.

She was thankful that he didn't ask questions. He didn't speak at all even through the hours of driving and the quick car changes.

It took three days of silence before they reached the cabin. It was snowing in the north and the barrier for Briggs territory was only a mile away. The silence almost killed Riza, but it saved her from her own emotions. If she thought to herself and Roy was quiet, then she could try to figure out a plan.

As soon as they arrived she spoke, but briefly. She directed him to the bathroom and the bedroom, and lastly where extra changes of clothes were, and he nodded tiredly. He found the bedroom and locked the door tightly.

Riza made a fire and sat in the living room for hours, thinking. It had been dark for many hours before he emerged with sleep in his eyes. He slipped on a thick coat and sat next to her on the floor, cross-legged and huffy.

She didn't even look at him. She couldn't look at him.

"Explain why you needed to kill me." he said with a hoarse voice.

Only then did she feel the enormity of the situation crash down on her. Her hands shivered and she stood. She couldn't avoid the question for much longer. She couldn't look at him but if she did, she'd see his incredible patience in his eyes. Riza stood on her shaky limbs and pulled tea from a wooden cabinet in the kitchen.  
When she returned with two mugs, he was still waiting for her, staring into the fire. When she sat she ran her hand over his head to brush the hair from his eyes and she smiled weakly.

"If you look too long it'll hurt your eyes," she breathed, "you should know that by now." She paused when his eyes jutted into her.

Her hand slid the mug next to his knee and she grasped her own for a moment, taking a sip before speaking.

"Things were bad after you left, Roy." she said to start. Her mind traveled back up the hill, past the creek and the woods to the manor in which she grew up. It was a looming house, large and spacious. It never seemed that way, though. It was cramped with books and alchemic notes. Rooms were stuffed with smokey air and cross words from the cracked lips of her father. Roy'd stayed with them as an apprentice for two years, and at the proper age he left to enlist. "I don't know if you remember," there was a smile when she rubbed the side of the mug with her fingers, "but he used to hit me sometimes when he got mad. I think you stopped him one time." she made herself look to him. He was frowning and there was something like tears forming in his eyes. "After you left he started to get angrier and angrier... he got sick and... well, you know the rest." she smiled wearily. "I followed you into Ishval because I needed a purpose. After all the derogatory things my father used to say I needed an out. Did you know I used to do archery at my boarding school?" she asked, turning towards him in childish excitement. "That's how I became so good at using weapons. I practiced so much after you left. My father eventually found my bow and broke it, though." she trailed off and looked towards the fire. "When I got to Ishval I realized I couldn't go on like that. The things that the Red Lotus Alchemist said to me... the things I said to myself... I just couldn't... I wanted to follow you, I really did..." his eyes were sympathetic towards her but he didn't move from his spot, "I didn't want to bring myself to kill again. And after I asked you to... to burn my back... I ran. I was afraid. I figured out that I didn't want to be destroyed. I wanted to live.  
"I sold the manor... well... I sold it in my name to yours so that I'd own the house and also have the money from the sale."

Roy's eyes opened in shock. "You what?" she almost sighed in relief when he spoke.

"I sold it to you, but since you were in the military the government ended up paying for it somehow and I ended up with the money and the house." her eyes widened in panic, "I'll pay you back one day, I promise."

Roy was skeptical but turned back to the fire, seeing it as a point of comfort. "What does this all have to do with you trying to kill me?" he grumbled.

She turned as well, giving him a solemn glance before speaking again, "I took the money and left the mansion. The first thing I did with the money was buy flowers for Berthold's grave, and the second was buy a hand gun. How ironic. I lived in the slums for three years. I had on and off jobs. I never touched drugs but I was known for getting drunk at the Devil's Nest." Greed had somehow slipped into her life before she realized just how much he'd be there. He'd offered her a place to stay many times and to her embarrassment she was usually too intoxicated to decline. He never touched her though, but the offer was always open, or so it seemed. "I stayed in many different places, moved from East to West to Central, made a lot of friends with a lot of people, never told anyone my real name. I fell in love a couple of times but I was scared. I was scared because they weren't you." She heard him breathing slowly, gracefully, until she said that. His breath hitched and his eyes narrowed. Was he afraid too? "A woman named Chris cleaned me up. She took me in with her girls and got me a job. I was a fast talker with an attitude but she slapped that out of me... what?" he was chuckling now. He turned to her with a smile.

"Keep talking I'm listening." he replied. She shot him a confused look but continued after another sip of tea, which had grown luke warm and bitter.

"I started working at an art studio. I didn't really like it but the money was good. I had an apartment and a visiting cat for a while. The studio is where I mean Jean. I wasn't really... afraid... with him." she swallowed and glanced towards Roy who had seemed to be staring off intentionally. "He came to me with a plan though... we just kind of fell together besides that. He had a boss and the boss knew about Ishval. He wanted to use me as an assassin. Because I was so enwrapped with the freedom I got with Jean, I went with it. I got a good gun, a good guy, and more money then I'd ever had in my life. All I had to do was pull the trigger and run. I had a job once a month. All I had to do was block out all those thoughts of guilt." She reached up with her hand, pointing it into a gun. Her eyes were unfocused against the hot flames in front of them. She pulled her finger back with a breath of air between her lips. "Everything was fine until I got a job two months ago. Your name was on it. Roy Mustang. Alchemist. I met you again and I couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger. Whatever you were researching was what was going to kill you." she turned to him, raising her hands to grab his shoulders. "Whatever's in those notes... it's dangerous." his eyes refused to meet hers.

"There's something wrong with Amestris. There's something wrong with the government and it's alchemy. There's a connection between the two somehow. There's a connection between Ishval and these things... philosopher's stones..." his voice was in a whisper as if he'd be lashed for speaking. He finally looked towards her. "They want to kill me because I know all of this." he narrowed his eyes. "Who is your boss?" he asked.

Riza sat back. "I-I never met him. The day I pretended to kill you- he- another worker of his talked to me. He told me not to screw up..." Her eyes became heavy very suddenly. "Oh God, they're going to kill me." she said softly. Her hand shot upwards to her face, tears welling pouring from. "Roy, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry... I should have been with you... I should have protected you..." She crumbled, head falling on his lap and face covered in tears. He swept her up into his arms quietly, squeezing her against his chest.

"I should have kept my promise, Riza. I'm the one who should be apologizing." he reached up to stroke her hair, and she let him for the moment. "You saved me... I- I shouldn't have been cross..."

She tensed, feeling his arms around her tighten. She didn't speak for a long time and neither did he. They bathed in each other's warmth for long minutes. When she untucked herself from him she realized that outside it was darker than she'd ever seen it. That's how the nights were in the north, though.

She wiped her eyes, smiled reassuringly towards Roy and leaned against his shoulder for support.

"Tell me about this place." he said quietly, looking around the cabin. It was tucked away in the mountains, snow falling against the window to break the deep violet outside.

"Jean and I lived her for a few months. We had a job up at Briggs. Jean was sent in to assassinate an Ishvalan soldier. It was odd because he'd enlisted prior to the Ishvalan war. Our boss sent us up there but we couldn't get in. He sent us a letter afterwards telling us it would be taken care of and that our services weren't needed any longer for that job specifically. We stayed up here for about a month and we then moved back to Central. It was the only job we didn't complete... besides you of course." she said, frowning.

She glanced around the room. It was all the same, but dustier. A long couch with a dirty ottoman. Small and rusty kitchen to the right. A heavy wooden door. Jean once suggested they stay there forever. It was a joke of course but she actually liked the idea. It was strange that Jean would want them to move up here to hide. He probably realized the boss would give up on them if they went far enough away.

"We'll wait for him here... he'll come soon." She hoped he would. At that moment she felt an arm pulling her downwards. She lay on the floor and Roy partially on top of her, arms on either side of her and legs on her left.

"Do you love him more than me?" he asked, gazing from her lips to her eyes. She was high from his hot breath and body heat for just a moment before she realized he'd asked her something.

"No." she answered. Probably the first time she was honest with herself this past year.

"Is that why you saved me?" he asked, his voice low and his eyes softer with every word. Riza felt cold with confusion, her hands tickling the floor while she searched for an answer.

"It's not the only reason." she whispered back. They were speaking like they didn't want to get caught. He was closing the gap between them slowly and she pretended not to notice.

"Why did you save me, then?" he asked, eyes on hers.

"Because I don't want to hurt anyone anymore..." she said. His lips were just so close. "and because I think I love you..."

He was smiling now. "You _think_?"

"I know."

The space between them ceased and he kissed her softer than ever before. She reached up with her hands to anchor herself to his neck and she sat up, bodies touching as well as lips.

She was right to think that their bodies fit so well.

She gasped for air as he reached down towards the bottom of her shirt, mouth moving against the base of her neck. Her hands remained on his shoulders until she pushed away just as his fingers hit bare skin.

"We can't do this," she panted, eyes weary. She back away, leaning back against her hands. He looked at her questioningly.

"Why?"

_Alchemists. Always asking why. _She smirked.

"There are more important things to be done. You still haven't told me everything... and I need to cut the ties between myself and Jean... whenever he gets here."

He almost looked disappointed but he stood, taking the tea that had gotten cold, and walked over to the kitchen.

"There isn't anything to tell. I got out of the military because I didn't have my backbone. Hughes, my friend, ran off with a girl as soon as he got home, and I didn't have you anymore." he looked back, leaning against the counter to look at her. "I retired as a Major and I took up alchemy studies... I wanted to know why we went into Ishval. I wanted to know why I killed all those innocent people. I found out. I don't want to burden you with the details... it's brutal. But there's still more that I need to know. They want to kill me because I'm coming so close to uncovering something. Something big. I can feel it."

She nodded against the floor, pulling herself up and standing. She smoothed out her clothing and looked to Roy.

"I promise I'm not going to try to kill you again. What they have against you has nothing to do with me... I just hope we aren't found." she admitted with a nervous swallow. "Now I think I'm going to go to bed. I need some rest..." when she spoke he walked over towards her. He kissed her forehead and breathed against her cheek quietly.

"Goodnight." he said to break the silence. She nodded again and made her way down the hall. She didn't bother to try to find pajamas, and she slipped into the bed, sliding under the cover and balling up for warmth. Barely a minute passed before someone was at her side cradling her. When she smiled out of contentment, she realized she wasn't thinking of Jean, and somehow that only made her smile broader.

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**A/N: I apologize for any typos or mistakes- I was feeling too lazy to edit. REVIEWS ARE LOVELY. :) **


	12. Chapter 12

She heard the door scream when the sun was rising four days later. She blinked away the sleep quicker than she could fire a gun. She lifted her arm to pry Roy's tight arm off of her stomach and she rolled over.

She sat up on the side of the bed, quickly shoving her arms into a sweater just in time for a pair of icy eyes looked into the room. She stood, crossing her arms and walking forward to block his view of the sleeping alchemist.

"We need to talk. He needs to listen," Havoc said. Riza heard his turn and trod off, his weight off balance with the shotgun in his palm.

Riza's tensed muscles relaxed and she scurried around the room to change into pants and tie her hair up. By the time she'd done so there was a set of dark grey eyes on her.

"He's back?" came the gruff voice of a newly awoken man.

"He says we've got to talk." She didn't bother turning around, and she walked quickly from the room and into the hallway. Riza could hear him moving to change as well.

When she came into the kitchen, he was turned away, reaching up into the cupboards for some sort of substance. She could hear the coffee pot buzzing against the steel of the stove.

Riza stood, crossing her arms against the chilled air.

"I'm glad your alive." she shifted on her feet, reaching up to brush her hair behind her ear.

He scoffed and poured the tar-ish black liquid into a mug.

"Nice to see you too." he said, turning back around to face her. His back hit the counter and he pulled the cup to his chest. Riza noticed the shotgun laying next to him on the counter. He smiled after a sip of coffee. Havoc's face now sported a gruff unshaven shadow and purple streaks under his eyes. He wore a ragged flannel shirt and a large and obviously heavy vest. His boots still had snow on them, and his face was slowly changing from red to pale. "You lied to me." he said with a weak smile.

Riza tilted her head, stepping towards him with a frown.

"You chose that bastard over me the minute you slit your hand." he replied, his smile draining. Her heart thudded against her stomach.

"I wasn't lying to you... I thought... I mean..." she stopped her hands tightening around her arms.

He walked towards her, setting the mug down behind him. He stepped up in front of her. She inhaled. He smelled dull. A blurred picture against the real place. She wanted his arms around her but the thought just felt... wrong.

"I know." he said, something different in his eyes. "I know." his hand touched the bottom of her jaw. He drew it back, and turned to retrieve the coffee. "I quit."

She looked up. "I'm done with smoking."

Riza jerked her head around to see Roy standing by the doorframe in the hall. She opened her mouth to speak but was unsure of what to say. Instead Havoc spoke up towards the two.

"I suppose you're gonna need my help now, huh?" He said with a sigh. "Alright first thing's first. You know you guys are gonna have to leave Central for good." Riza's eyes shifted to see Roy's knees get weak. "I know for certain now that our boss' organization only runs inside Central and parts of the East, so you guys should move out West or North... You can't stay here, though. I'm taking this as a safe house for myself." He looked at Riza with sharp eyes. "I think it's the least you can do for me after all this," he paused to clear his throat, "after this you guys are on your own. The car outside is full of your weapons and clothes. Roy, I saw that your room was burned to a crisp. Didn't get time to buy you anything." he smirked to himself and continued, "I saw the man you talked to, Riza, and I hit him right after Mustang went down. That was the gunshot you heard. I was hangin' on the roof when I saw him. He was comin' your way. After that I came to you guys... Next thing I was off to leave a very convincing letter to the boss. He didn't buy it. I was in a shoot-out in the alley the next day. I got out eventually but I've been swattin' them away like flies since I checked out of our apartment. Damn, I liked that place." he paused again and took a sip of the coffee. "I' been tryin' to escape them until now. No one followed me up here but I had to be safe," he glanced towards the gun and back to Riza, "I saved your asses but now it's time for you to save your own. I'll give you the rest of the day but the three of us here together is unsafe. You guys can probably get a place out West for cheap, and Mustang can get a job easy out there." He stopped, looking down.

"Thanks...Jean..." Riza said, words soft. She watched as Jean strode over to Roy, who tensed as he drew near. Jean's arm rose to gesture to Riza.

"I did this for her... alright? Don't think I like you, 'cause I don't." he spat, sighing and rubbing his eyes. Riza swallowed hard and brushed past the both of them to rush into the hall.

"We'll leave as soon as it gets dark," she called as she began to pack the little amount of things in the room.

Havoc turned to Roy pulling his pointed finger up to the shorter man's face.

"I swear to God if you hurt her I'll return from the grave and kill you." he growled, staring angrily into Roy's eyes. The alchemist's eyes widened.

"You aren't going to..." he trailed off. Jean hesitated but spoke again in a whisper.

"I don't plan on coming back for you guys. I'm making my way to the boss and ending this thing once and for all. I don't like what's going on here. Something tells me this is all bigger than just killing random enemies..." he stopped and drew back. "Now pack your crap, I'll say goodbye to Riza and you can be off." Havoc turned back towards the kitchen area and took a long drink of the coffee, leaving the eavesdropping Riza to pack as Roy desperately tried to comfort her.

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Roy was already in the car. There was an older model car at the back of the cabin's property that Jean had pointed out. Riza hugged Jean tightly, knowing she'd probably never see him again. He told her that he'd packed her painting inside the biggest bag and she laughed. She held in her tears as she sat in the seat. Jean saluted with a heavy smile and Roy nodded back to him. Riza couldn't look at the man as they drove away. She forced herself to look at the sweaty palms on her lap as the scenery behind them became a blur of black into the night.

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**A/N: Sorry I was lazy with this one. The last chapter will be up by next weekend hopefully. THANK YOU ALL FOR READING AND REVIEWS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED. :3**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: This chapter concludes this story! (It's fairly short but I'm pretty proud of it!) I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are great! I love receiving them and seeing what you have to say. I'll probably add an Author's Note to the end of this one if you're interested in the things I have to say about this story. Anyways- THANK YOU FOR READING AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT! **

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There was a long time before she felt safe again. She didn't really feel safe, though, even in those moments where she'd forgotten what her life used to be like.

The two had found a home in the West like Jean had told them to. It was a small house out in the open fields. No one around to suspect them of anything. Hidden quietly in pastel colors and wooden insides. There was a place on the wall where a familiar painting hung. There was another place for an array of photographs of them. Space enough for the two of them. Space enough for more.

She wanted to marry him. This was real. Not like last time. She wanted to be bound to him by a divine force, bound by something she didn't even know existed. She wanted to sign the papers to be his but she couldn't. It was a sacrifice she had to make.

They tried to make a life. They tried as hard as they could. They snuck into the city for food and books. Roy was back into alchemy. He used the kind he'd learned from her back to earn money when they first started out. By the time they'd found a house he'd get calls all across the towns to help others in need and he tried with all his might to help with the alchemy he knew. Riza never took a job. She did, though, earn a pretty penny for the money she got from selling all of her guns. Well, almost all. She kept one on her hip at all times. Even Roy didn't know about it. But by now he accepted that there were things she'd never tell him.

Things were normal. They could read and cuddle and be together. They could be together.

After two years of attempts and three nights of bloody floors and howling cries they decided it best not to bring a child into their world. He carried her to their bed after each time and promised her she was perfect. It wasn't her fault. He didn't realize her burden was far heavier than what he thought.

She cried sometimes during the night. She thought of Jean and she buried herself in the bed. Roy would do his job and calm her. That wasn't her fault either.  
Maybe if she hadn't let him think that she loved him he wouldn't be dead. Maybe if she hadn't... maybe if she... maybe...

She'd do the same for him. When he dreamed of the war. When he dreamed of losing her again.

The nights were the hardest. When you can't see an enemy you can't prepare. Riza always thought they'd come for her. Roy told her to trust that Havoc did what he said he'd do. She nodded but she always worried. Always thought.

There was a day, though, in the spring when her feelings drowned. It started with a humming and a laugh.

Roy opened the newspaper, sitting at a chair by their small dining table. She sat on his knees, giggling to pull his attention away.

"I brought the mail in," he said, his mind obviously off. She frowned and peaked her head around the paper.

"You're not even interested in me in the least," she said with a pout. He sighed and lowered the paper.

"I'm always interested in you. But in here it says there was a young boy who was named a state alchemist... he's about twelve I think." Riza frowned and stood.

"I don't believe it."

"What do you think it means?" he asked, looking back down at the papers. "The military's recruiting _children_ for their sick games." he said, words quiet. Riza stood still, her eyes drifting to the mail on the counter. Her eyes caught on scribbly handwriting.

"Roy."

"Hm?"

"Roy." her breath was gone from her in an instant. She surged forward and tore at the paper.

By the time she scrambled to open the note inside Roy was behind her.

"Resembool- Elric brothers- Marcoh- Philosopher's stone," she paused, bringing her hand to her mouth as the wavering words poured out, "I was right, kitten. There's something crazy happening down in Central. Crazy things in Briggs too. That blonde lady's crazy as hell. You two'd get along fine. I know for sure you didn't get rid of all those guns. Wanna party? This Edward kid's pretty interesting. Oh yeah, tell Roy to start his research again now that he won't have to worry about us killing him. He won't have to worry about the boss either. Tell Roy he's on our side now. Me and Greed are gonna overthrow 'the big guy'. Ready for an adventure?" she heard tears splattering the page as she smiled through the next line, "with regrettable love, J.H."

She laughed, pulling the letter to her chest and turning to Roy, who's eyes were full of confusion and curiosity.

"I think it's about time I paid this Elric kid a visit." he said, looking down at her. He softened, kissing her softly and pulling her into an embrace.

"You gonna follow me, babe?" he said with a smirk. She returned the smirk, laughing. She then said with the utmost sincerity, "Even into hell, my love."


End file.
